


not gonna get us

by jazziisms



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Humor, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4594815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazziisms/pseuds/jazziisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>two people who mask their insecurities well and learn how to overcome them. a collection of oneshots surrounding the selfless boy who always thought he was useless and the lonely girl who always wanted to be loved and approved of. arukuri.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Starbucks

**Author's Note:**

> Set in modern, coffee shop au.

Christa Lenz worked at Starbucks. It was her first job, and she really liked it there. She was a petite little thing, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a bubbly personality to go along with it. She loved to socialize and was very easy to work with, doing whatever she could to stay on everyone's good side.

And the best part? She worked with her best friends, Mikasa Ackerman and Annie Leonhart. In high school, Mikasa and Annie were rivals and they didn't get along much; but things between them have gotten better as they got older, much to Christa's relief.

"What's got you in such a good mood?"

Christa looked over to meet Annie's gaze, a bright smile adorning her face. She didn't realize that she had been smiling and humming to herself the whole time. "I'm  _always_  in a good mood."

Annie pursed her lips. "That's disgusting."

But Christa could see the subtle smile, and that's all that mattered.

"Hey, Armin. The usual?" said Mikasa.

Christa looked up to see who the first customer of the day was, only for her breath to hitch in her throat and her heartbeat to skyrocket to the heavens. The boy Mikasa was talking to - she  _knew_ him? - was the most attractive guy Christa had ever seen. He had blond hair that barely brushed his shoulders, ocean blue eyes, a boyish cute smile, and a physique that was thinner than the average male. And, oh god, he was half a head taller than Mikasa!

"Please," said Armin with that handsome smile of his, digging through his bag to get out his wallet, and Christa's heart fluttered. She forgot how to breathe.

His eyes flickered over to Annie, his grin widening. "Hey, Annie."

"Hey, Armin. You're early."

Christa looked from one to the other. Seriously? Both of them knew this boy and she didn't? When did this happen? How come they never mentioned him?

Armin chuckled. "That I am."

" _Why,_ " Annie deadpanned.

"Armin's always been the early riser," Mikasa said, giving Armin his change back.

Christa made a soft, wheezing noise, her forefingers closing around the edge of Annie's apron, which caught the other blonde's attention; their eyes met, and Annie sighed, returning her attention back to Armin.

"Armin, Christa. Christa, Armin."

Her eyes met his for the first time and she forgot how to breathe again. Armin, oblivious, smiled at her and held out his hand for her to shake. "Nice to meet you, Christa. I'm Armin."

"Yeah, I  _just_  told her that," said Annie as an awed Christa placed her hand in Armin's.

"I-It's nice to meet you too!" Christa stammered, reluctantly letting go of his hand. "How long have you known Annie and Mikasa?"

"Ah, well, I've known Mikasa since we were kids, but I didn't meet Annie until high school," said Armin.

"Really? Which high school?"

"Shiganshina."

"Whoa, you too?"

"You went to Shiganshina High?"

"Yeah! I transferred sophomore year...How come we never saw each other?"

Armin shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "I don't know...I would've recognized your face."

Christa blushed.

"I'm gonna throw up," Annie muttered under her breath.

Armin circled around to go pick up his cup, Christa subconsciously following him. Their gazes locked.

"When did you graduate?" Christa asked.

"Last year," Armin said.

"Same! That's so weird..."

"I know...I was always under the radar anyway, so..."

"Under the radar?"

"Yeah. I'm kind of a nerd." He laughed a little.

She smiled and bit her lip. "I love nerds."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"That's...that's nice. I-I mean-"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Annie snatched Armin's cup from Mikasa and handed it to Christa, the raven hiding her laughter behind her hand. Flustered and embarrassed, Christa grabbed a sharpie and shakily began to write Armin's name.

"A-r-?" Christa looked up at him for confirmation.

"M-i-n," Armin finished quickly, cringing at the dark look on Annie's face. Christa finished writing his name hastily, adding a heart over the 'i' before handing his cup to him. "Thanks," he said, and their fingers grazed during the exchange, causing the both of them to blush. "I-It was good seeing you guys."

He began to retreat, heading for the door, and she hesitated.

"Do you come around often?" Christa finally struck up the nerve to ask.

He stopped turning around to look at her. "Um, I try to be!" said Armin.

"She gets off at four," Annie interjected before Christa could embarrass herself further. "I'll give her your number."

"Annie!" Christa blushed deeper. "Don't make him feel like he's obligated to-"

" _Actually_ , I..." Armin cleared his throat, his cheeks as flushed as hers. "I'd like that very much."

Christa's eyes met his again, and this time they both smiled. His smile was contagious and he made her heart do things that she hadn't felt in a long time. Whatever reason why they never met in high school will forever confuse her. She hoped they will be able to make up for lost time.

She gazed after him until she couldn't see him anymore, sighing and leaning against the counter.

"You okay?" Mikasa nudged her.

"Never better." Christa smiled dreamily.

"Unbelievable." Annie folded her arms across her chest.

Christa giggled.


	2. I'm Dying to Catch My Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in canon, an auish scenario in which Armin is kidnapped and tortured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of torture ahead, but not too explicit.

He was going to die.

Armin was okay with that. If it meant that they'll never get their hands on Eren, he'll die a thousand times over.

_"_ _Tell us where Eren is and we'll let you walk out of this with all your limbs intact."_

His bruised, cut lips pulled up into a smile, despite the tears in his eyes.

_"_ _Guess I'll crawl, then,"_  was his raspy, light reply.

What little pride he had left was long gone. They stripped him of everything, chaining him up with his arms over his head, and he wore nothing but the skin on his back. His back, which still stung from how many times they've whipped him mercilessly when he didn't answer their questions the way they wanted him to. They've had their fun with him in all the worst ways, cutting his side open with little slits; blood oozing its way down his hip, and he's lost count of the days. He was bruised from head to toe, and he could feel a small bead of blood trickling down his arm from where they cut him. God, he was in  _so much pain_ …but he had to stay strong. He  _had_  to stay strong until the end. He wanted Eren and Mikasa to know that he didn't die a coward.

_Eren…Mikasa…_ It still hurt to smile, but he just couldn't help himself.  _I hope you guys are okay…I'm sorry I couldn't be strong enough to get myself out of this. I know where this is heading. I'm…I'm alright. I miss you so much already. Look after each other. That's all I ask. You…you must make it to the ocean and see the world. Please…for me…_

He blinked, and silent tears streamed down his cheeks. That was when one more person appeared in the forefront of his thoughts. The very person he was in love with _._   _Historia…god, I love you. I'm sorry my life has to end this way. I should've been dead a long time ago. I know things were starting to change between us, but…well…it looks like, maybe, it was never meant to work…I know you'll have a long, life-changing reign. I believe you will. The people will love you. You'll change the world as we know it. I don't deserve you…I never did. I'm so sorry I have to leave you. I'm sorry I have to leave…all of you…_

He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the final blow that will end his life.

But it never came.

_Thud_.

Muted cries of pain were cut off quickly, followed by panicked footsteps. Confused and weary, Armin opened one eye. But he couldn't see anything. He listened for anything else out of the ordinary, but the sound of bodies hitting the ground were enough for him. They were under attack. Someone was coming to his cell. Someone was coming for  _him_ , and he didn't know if he should be relieved or  _afraid_.

_Boom_.

His door exploded and he instinctively cringed with a whimper and sharp pant, a habit he developed from his time being nearly tortured to death every day. Disoriented from the debri, he held his breath and kept his eyes closed; more footsteps bounded into the room quickly. Distinctly, he could indentify two, but…

Wait…

_"_ _Armin!"_

Familiar arms were thrown around him tightly - albeit carefully, given his position, and his chains were cut loose in two quick, sharp slices. He fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes; but the same set of arms caught him and pulled him close, and the other followed suit.

And that's when he  _knew_.

"Y-You're here…" Armin breathed, leaning his head against Eren's. He winced as soft, pink lips peppered his face in frantic, gentle kisses. "Mikasa, ow…"

"Sorry," Mikasa apologized, cupping his face. "Are you okay? Are you hurting?"

"Of course he is. We have to get him the hell out of here," said Eren. The titan shifter took off his green cloak to wrap around Armin, making sure it was wrapped secure around him to keep him warm, and let Armin lean his full weight against him. Slipping an arm under the broken blond to help him to his feet. It's been so long since Armin had walked, and his knees buckled underneath him, but his best friends were there to catch him.

The two huddled close to Armin from either side of them as they walked at a brisk pace for the exit. It hurt to walk, to think too hard,  _to breathe_ , but Armin's mind was spinning. "Where…where is…everyone? What's-?"

"We'll explain everything once we get you safe," Eren cut him off, his eyes not staying in one direction for too long. He had his hand balled up halfway, just in case he needed to transform at any second. No doubt he will, knowing him.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Armin," Mikasa murmured from the other side of him, despite the ferocity in her eyes.

Armin believed the both of them.

The next hour and a half was a blur, between Armin drifting in and out of consciousness. And the different voices he heard; it was like he was trying to hear them from down a long tunnel. But he picked up on a few in particular. Levi. Mikasa. Eren. Hanji every once in a while. He was riding in a…carriage? Wasn't he? Explained all the shaking…the sound of rubble under his trembling body…Eren and Mikasa stayed in close proximity the entire time, which he found comforting. His head somehow ended up in Mikasa's lap, her fingers running oh so gently through his hair, and the calloused hand holding his belonged to the green eyed teen who was just relieved to have his best friend back and  _alive_. They cleaned his fresh wounds with the best of what they had, and thankfully he had on pants by the time they reached their final destination.

Queen Historia's palace.

.

.

.

She waited with impatience from her seat on the throne, leg bouncing up and down, misty gaze staring out of the window with extreme intensity and desperation. Where were they? Shouldn't they be back by now? What if they never came back? What if Armin was…what if he was…

"Historia."

Sasha's voice brought her out of her daze, but she didn't turn. The young queen sighed and rubbed her temple, lower lip trembling. "What is it?"

"They're back." The elation in her voice made Historia's head snap up just as the two grand doors opened. Connie and Jean, who were also in the room, immediately diverted their attention to the door. Eren and Mikasa slowly walked into the room, looking a little beaten and tattered but they were alright, with Armin right in the middle; holding his hands to help him walk.

Historia flew to her feet, eyes wide and watery, but she fought those tears back and held herself as straight as she could. They were getting closer, and her reserve was crumbling. She was about to break. Armin was back. He was alive. He was finally  _back_.

_What have they done to you?_  she thought worriedly as she got a closer look at him. He must have gone through so much hell. Duties be damned, she would have gone if Eren had convinced her to stay.

Armin lifted his head, and their eyes met. He was smiling at her. Her heart leaped into her throat, and she was knocked breathless. How was he able to still smile after all of this?

"I got it," Armin reassured Eren and Mikasa softly under his breath. There was some reluctance there, but the duo let him go and gave him a little space. He took one measured step forward, then another, and another, until he was standing before her. He began to kneel, only for it to bring him great pain, and he winced in surprise.

"At ease!" she cried just as both Mikasa and Eren shot forward, and Armin obeyed, straightening into a normal standing position; clutching the cloak tighter around himself. The latter two relaxed slightly, still tensed, and the other three in the room were stunned silence.

Historia pressed her lips together, addressing the rest of the group. "Leave us."

Jean, Sasha, and Connie saluted her before they made their departure, and there was more hesitation on Eren and Mikasa's end before Mikasa had to almost drag Eren from the room. The large doors closed behind them, leaving Historia and Armin alone.

Historia's feet carried her forward, down each step one by one, until she was right in front of him; stopping on the last step. Armin gazed up at her in earnest; apologetic. And she knew that he was about to start apologizing.

"Historia, I-"

She held up her hand and he quieted. Letting the same hand drift forward as she took the last step down, she cupped his face with the palm of her hand and breathed his name. "Armin…" Her free hand followed suit to the other cheek, stroking his bruised skin with small, tender patterns. He gasped, leaning into her touch. His own reaching up to cup over hers; to keep her there. Eyes fluttering closed. "You have nothing to apologize for." She blinked away her tears. "I was so worried about you."

"You were worried about me?" he whispered.

"Don't sound so surprised," she whispered back.

A long beat of silence passed between the two, gazes lingering before Historia finally leaned up and closed the space between them, brushing her lips against his. Sighing against her lips, he slipped his arms around her and pulled her as close as he could manage with his lack of strength; returning her kisses just as softly.

"I thought I was never gonna see you again..." he murmured against her mouth, cupping her face.

"I thought I lost you..." she murmured back, threading her fingers through his hair. Holding him close. "Don't scare me like that again. Please."

He nodded, dipping his head into her shoulder. Her grip tightened on him when he began to tremble with his own tears.

"Will you let me take care of you?" she whispered in his ear, a lone tear escaping her eyelid and falling onto his neck.

"Y-Yes," he whispered back.


	3. Is It Okay if I Kiss You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in modern au.

He remembers the feeling of her lips against his, and feels his cheeks redden at the thought of it happening again.

That's...that's not weird, right?

Armin sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he walks through the school hallway. He hasn't seen Eren and Mikasa yet, but then again he had come to school a little earlier than usual. Now that he's alone he can finally be with his thoughts and figure out what he's going to do next. The problem is? He has no idea! Where does he stand with a pretty girl that he likes a lot, after he kissed her the other night?

_Armin, you clearly didn't think things through_ , he scolds himself.

They had a nice time on Sunday. He took her out to dinner and they saw a movie afterwards (he insisted he should treat her to an outing, since she's been feeling down lately and deserved a break). They weren't dating or anything (or were they?), he just liked being with the very girl who sent butterflies to his stomach just by the thought of her.

Then, well, he walked her to her door...

_"I had a great time." Historia smiles softly at him, absentmindedly playing with her keys. He stands paralleled to her, sheepish smile curving his lips, hands buried in his pockets._

_"I'm glad." And he means that. She's been beating herself up for not telling the truth; for waiting until prom night - which was just last weekend -to tell everyone, meaning everyone in the student body, that she wasn't Christa Lenz, but Historia Reiss, the bastard child of the famous billionaire Rod Reiss, and she claims she doesn't deserve forgiveness. Armin doesn't see her for a week after that and, a dozen missed calls and unanswered texts later, she finally replies and opens up to him. He drops everything he's doing and goes over her house; listens to her story, sympathizes with her, tells her that no one hates her and they just want to understand._

_He got to know Historia Reiss in one day. She still has the timid, sweet characteristics, but she's not as upbeat. Not as preppy. Despite everything he's been told, he only finds himself falling harder for her._

_Armin's never hated anyone in his life. But Rod Reiss is pushing the envelope._

_Tonight Historia ditches pastel for something calmer; a royal blue jacket with the sleeves covering up to her palms, a white cami, fitted black jeans, and white sneakers. Her hair falls in loose, wavy gold, eyeliner thick on the cateye. The look suits her well, he thinks._

_Still beautiful, still beautiful._

_"Will you be back tomorrow?" he queries in hope._

_She hesitates, chewing down on her bottom lip._

_"There's always a spot open for you at lunch," he offers, and the smile widens._

_"I hope it's next to you," she says, and he feels his cheeks warm up._

_"If you want it to be," his voice lowers in a gentle tone. "No problem." He primarily sits with Eren and Mikasa, so there's always room for more than one person. Besides, they take turns sitting next to each other with the third party across from them so it's not a big deal._

_"Okay." Her keys jingle in her hand as she slips them into her palm, between her fingers. "I'll be there."_

_"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."_

_"Tomorrow."_

_"'Kay. Well...I guess I should head home. No one's there, and I think Erwin has a late shift tonight..." he's mumbling as he begins to retreat, turning on his heel._

_Smaller, slender digits wrap around his wrist suddenly, followed by a, "Armin?"_

_Surprised, heart skipping a beat, he steps back, hands slipping out of his pockets, one already in her grasp. "Hm?"_

_Historia gives his hand an affectionate squeeze, running her manicured thumb across his knuckles, and his face is burning. "Thank you. For everything."_

_He almost forgets how to breathe._

_"Y-You're welcome," he stammers._

_She doesn't let go of his hand just yet and he wonders, would she mind it if he...if he...-?_

_Armin swallows nervously, taking the smallest of steps towards her. "Historia?"_

_Her eyebrows raised in silent question, and he sees her eyes flicker down to his lips as he comes closer._

_"Is it okay if I...kiss you?" he breathes, eyes mirroring hers, gazing at her lips openly._

_To his shock and relief, she slowly nods her head, and uses her grip on his hand to tug him closer. Armin feels like he is about to faint, but he can't back out now. He's been wanting to do this for a long time, and...well...he's gonna go for it! Gently, he coaxes her chin up with an unsteady finger - hand trembling with his nerves - and she tilts her face up to his, eyes fluttering closed as their faces drew closer. He gulps and panics for a quick moment, but, after reminding himself that she is giving him the okay, then does he finally close the space between them and kiss her softly._

_His trembling intensifies, and her fingers wrap around his wrist to keep him still, lips yielding up against his. He's grateful, thankful, and hums into the kiss. Relaxes. Armin isn't experienced at all (the only kisses he's given were to Eren and Mikasa, but that's different), but Historia seems to not mind at all. She leans up on her tiptoes and inhales. The kiss is lingering, gentle, tender, before they part, and Historia slowly sinks back down on her heels before her eyes open to meet his._

_"Goodnight," she whispers._

_"Goodnight," he whispers back._

_He watches her go inside before making his departure._

_And he doesn't stop smiling on the way home._

Armin opens his locker, lips beginning to pull up in the corners. Things are starting to look up for him, and he's happy. Nervous still, yes, but happy.

And that's when he hears her voice.

"Hi."

Jumping a little, backpack halfway in his locker, he turns his head to see Historia herself walking up to him. She's smiling, and it makes his widen in a dopey fashion. "Hi," he closes his locker halfway, turning on his heel to face her. "Feeling better?"

"Very."

His cheeks warm up considerably, and he rubs the back of his neck, eyes downcast. "Hey, listen...about last night...well," he struggles. "I was wondering if - I mean -"

Armin's rambling is stopped by her giggle, and her suddenly coming closer, arms slipping around his neck. He looks down at her, now at a loss of what to do with his hands, but he's not complaining by the lack of space between them now.

"Yes," she answers his silent question, leaning up on her tiptoes.

"Yes?" he echoes, his entire face brightening.

She presses her lips against his, and he  _melts_ , arms slipping around her and holding her close to him. Smiling, Historia pulls away until their noses graze, and whispers a soft, " _Yes,"_ and by then his cheeks are hurting from smiling. He picks her up a little and spins her around with joy, and she giggles, clinging to his shoulders.

And, just feet away, leaning around the corner, are none other than Eren and Mikasa.

They had seen the whole thing.


	4. With You, I Am Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: prompt in which historia is oddly playful in her titan form b/c armin is now the smol and she finds it adorable – request by anonymous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking requests on Tumblr! Same url :) Just shoot me an ask!

The muted thuds of the titan's footsteps did not frighten Armin in the least. He's content, book propped open in his lap as he sat against the tree, under the shade. The sound only brought him back to reality, having been so absorbed in the novel he was reading that he almost missed the angelic, flighty steps heading straight for him.

He looked up and smiled at the sight of her. "Oh, hello."

Historia, within the nape of her titan, tilted her head at him; lips curving up into a smile. She was a beauty, with her bright blue eyes and majestic, white wings that shone brighter than the sun. The twelve meter titaness stooped down on one knee, her large hand extending down until the back of it brushed against the grass. A clear invitation that he could not refuse.

"At my favorite part?" he teased, feigning hesitation. "I don't know..."

She made a sound of disapproval, resembling a pout. She clearly didn't like the idea and wasn't going to take no for an answer. Before she even made a move to grab him - because he just knew that was what she was going to do in the next .2 seconds - he spoke up once more, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." The blond genius marked his place and closed his book shut before he finally got up and took a few steps forward. "Where do you wanna go today?"

Historia's eyes flickered up as she thought before she got it, and flexed her fingers, reaching for him with more excitement and desperation. She's still careful, however, because she knew how much more fragile Armin was when she was in this form. Like a porcelain doll, meant to be treated with tender loving care. Any wrong move, any error in her movements, even too much excitement, and he could be seriously injured. Where did she want to go? Only everywhere! Anywhere, anywhere, anywhere they can go to escape the cruel world they lived in, if only for a moment or two. To forget the responsibilities that lay ahead, their duties, their busy schedules that will soon intervene with their relationship. And then when they're alone with their thoughts, only to be consumed by them and suffocate. Drowning in their own demons, the very ones they've been fighting for so long. But they can't fight forever. No one can fight forever.

Both Historia and Armin are good at hiding, you see. Very good. Historia hid behind her smile. Armin hid behind his eyes. Historia hid behind the once facade of a goddess - an angel, sent from above - the "dream girl". The person everyone wanted to be with, but was out of touch because one would think she was too perfect and kind. Out of their league. She was Christa for so long that after a while even Historia believed her own lies. Armin, however, hid behind his books. His stories. His dreams. He masked his pain with tactfulness and words of encouragement. He always had a smile on his face, she noted, whenever Eren and Mikasa were around. Back then she had no idea where he or the others came from, what their backstory was, how they ended up here (what is here exactly? Here, at the palace? Or perhaps even further back, when they were just cadets? Back when things were...simpler?) They lost so many, friends and acquaintances alike, after graduation. Yet Armin kept a level head in the midst of chaos. How on  _earth_  was he able to do that? Could no one see that there was more to him than just his intelligence?

Historia knew. Maybe she's known all this time but hasn't uttered a word. Maybe she noticed the subtle signs, mirrored in him through the others? The bags under the eyes from lack of sleep? The brightness in their depths dimming into blank nothings of sorrow, horrors that cannot be unseen? The little pep in his step long gone? The sag in his shoulders? (She noted this once, when they lay curled up together one night, book propped open in his lap, their fingers laced together between them; he only laughed softly, assured her she had  _nothing to worry about_ , echoed his statement in a loving whisper, breath a soft caress against her knuckles. She was quiet as he brought her hand up to his lips - so soft, so plump, always slightly chapped; it was a strange combination that she liked - and kissed each and every one.)

But she was no fool.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

Like a broken record player, she's on repeat. Telling him every chance she got, because tomorrow was never promised. Because she still felt guilty about the vile, cruel things he had to endure because of her. That he had to pose as her, and she felt relieved - how  _dare_ she - that it wasn't  _her_. Christa was never real. Christa cared for others. Historia didn't. _Christa is void._

But, like a child learning to walk, she learned. She learned how to stand on her two feet. Take one step at a time. (One, two, wobble, fall. Get back up. Try again. Fall again. Repeat. It's a mantra.) She learned how to genuinely care for others, other than herself. (Dependency was her worst enemy. She became the "perfect girl" to gain approval from others. To feel wanted. She used to believe that no one would ever love the real her.)

Oh Sina, when Eren told her that she was  _normal._  That he  _liked_ her for _Historia_ and not Christa. When he told her that...it meant...the _world_  to her. She can't even explain the  _elation_  -

Armin chuckled. Goodness, she loved his laugh. It was so whimsical, so genuine. Nothing like it. He was kind, he was gentle, he was open-minded. He was real, yet he was the sun, the moon, the stars, and out of her reach. Always out of reach. When he's gone (which is often), she hugged the pillow he slept on. When he's gone (they lead different lives now; it's a miracle if they get a night to themselves in her grand, royal bedroom), she slept on his side of the bed. Curled herself in long enough, in hopes that she'll feel the arms that will never come, will never encase her in warmth and safety and pull her flush against an even warmer body. God, he was always warm.

Yet here he was now, in front of her, without the looming fear of death and destruction over his head, stepping onto her open palm.  _Literally_  putting his life into her hands. She wanted to smile at the irony. He trusted her. He trusted her with his life, just as she trusted him with hers. She had him for a day. Two at the most. Historia had Armin for a day and she was going to make the best of it. She was going to make the best of having her friends here - Eren, Mikasa, everyone. They were all scattered around the palace somewhere. Relaxing, she hoped. They deserved that much. - having the one she loved the most in this world.

Scooping him up ever so slowly, both hands cupped around him as if she held a hot mug of tea on brisk, sunny mornings (she could almost smell the tea brimming now, could feel the cold prickly texture of freshly cut, dewed grass, the quiet chatter that echoed throughout the long, golden corridors), Historia gazed down at him in wonder. Elation. Affection.

And he was gazing right back up at her.

How could he not? She was exquisite. Always have been from the start, even if he had only been talking to a mask. The _real_  Historia Reiss was the person he fell in love with. The lost, broken, lonely girl - perhaps as lonely, as broken, and as lost as he - who was forced into this world. Small, fragile, with one eye open, and fingers crossed behind her back.

_Hm-hm,_  he inwardly laughed. She wasn't so fragile. She made the top ten, after all. She body-slammed her own father, and sided with his best friend, knowing what that would do. She aided in killing him, became queen, and her focus immediately went to the children of the underground. It was clear she was far less than fragile. Oh yes.

Despite what she thought of herself, he still considered her a goddess. He's seen the way she was with children, the way her eyes lit up with passion when she discussed them. She may not be the Christa they all knew and - love, to put it  _lightly_  - but there were aspects of Christa's personality forever embedded inside the young ruler; living in her very skin. He saw it in the way she smiled,  _God_ , he loved her dimples. He saw it in the way the sun would hit her just right. He saw it in the way she'd make a grab for Eren's hand, give him a reassuring squeeze and soft words of encouragement that fail to reach his ears. He saw it in the way she wrapped herself around Mikasa on sleepless, nightmare-filled nights, fingers digging in the raven's back, cheek pressed against her shoulder. Seeking comfort. Solace.

He saw it in the way she looked at him, felt it in the way she kissed him. They could be in a crowded room and as soon as they make eye contact, the world stops. It's just him and her. Armin and Historia. Nothing else mattered. No one else mattered. For a fleeting moment, Armin's able to forget his pain, and  _dear God_ he's in pain. Life was looking up for him, a dim light at the end of the tunnel, but he's hurting. His past  _haunts_  him, stabs his heart. ( _Mom...Dad...where have you gone? Grandpa...why did you have to leave me all alone?_ ) And Historia's the one who stitches him up. Makes the pain dull for a little while longer.

He sat down on her hand, legs crossed as her hands formed a bowl around him. A caress, then a pat, is given, followed by a soft smile and a light, "I'm ready."

Her giant lips pull up into a grin. She nodded.

And then they were off. 


	5. The Sea Crashes Against the Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looks different now, Historia notes. Older. Her hair is no longer pulled back, light blonde tresses pooling down her shoulders in waves. No longer is she an MP, but a Scout, the wings of freedom patched on her cloak and uniform. They size each other up, it seems, starting from the ground up until - finally - the sea crashes against the ice. Historia remembers being intimidated by her former classmate, and for good reason.
> 
> But that fear no longer exists.
> 
> Christa Lenz no longer exists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooly shit. So I’ve been debating how I’d go about a Historia/Annie confrontation with established!Arukuri + post-crystal!Annie + jealous!Historia. My original thought was for Historia to go to Annie’s cell/or room, and basically tell Annie that if she hurts Armin it won’t end well for her. Yeeh.
> 
> B ut. This turned out to be another thing instead! Armin’s amused and thinks Historia is being silly for feeling jealous because he and Eren look out for Annie the most. Historia does encounter Annie, however, and I decided to slip in my other OTPs in there as well.
> 
> So with that being saaaid, there is Eremika, Jeanani, and Springles in this one. I’m trash. Enjoy!

"It's not that I'm not glad she's back - I-I am, but…I don't know...I guess I'm just worried about you. Is that okay? Does that make me the jealous type? I'm not the jealous type. No. Absolutely not. I'm just worried for your well-being and, knowing about your relationship with her prior, things might be awkward for you or bring back old feelings or you could get hurt or, you know? God, I don't know..."

Armin's amused gaze follows Historia as she paces back and forth in front of him, wringing her hands together nervously, bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Her crown glistens in the setting sun, its glow casting the entire room in golds and pinks and oranges. The long, elegant skirt of her dress swishes and sways against her ankles with each step she takes, her hair - formerly neatly tucked back behind her ears - flowed freely with fly-a-ways and stress and anxiety and _God_ she's so easy to read when she's emotional. It's actually kind of adorable, he thinks. She's really getting worked up over nothing. While it's understandable that Annie's return is throwing everyone into a loop, Historia's concern is her fear of Armin leaving her.

The young man stands up, tall and lean, and reaches her in two long strides, takes her face in his hands abruptly and the action itself makes the small queen fall silent, the rest of her sentence dying in her throat. Her mind drifts and she forgets what she's gonna say (but then again, maybe, it's because Armin is now doing the trace-her-bottom-lip-with-his-thumb thing. Oh no. Armin, please. Why must you do this to her? You know she's just going to instantly melt and her knees will do the _wobbly_ thing and her heart will do the _flutter_ thing and -)

"Don't you think you're taking this slightly out of proportion?" Armin smiles softly at her, and she pouts; an adorable pucker of supple, pink lips that he's _dying_ to kiss, followed by a comical widening of the eyes and a long whine:

_"Nooo!"_

"Nooo?"

"Nooo…" Nimble fingers poked and prodded at his blazer.

"How so?"

The pouting intensifies. "Because I know you two were close before all of this happened."

"Hm."

 _"Hm?_ All you can say is _'hm'?"_

"What do you want me to say?" He doesn't wanna laugh at her. He really doesn't. What can he say to her? That she is worrying over nothing? That the past is the past? That he's forgiven Annie, who's accepted his forgiveness in return, and that all he wanted was his friend back? That his relationship with Annie is almost as close as his relationship with Mikasa, which Historia has no problem with?

"I don't know! It's just that...you two have more history than we do...I saw the way you acted when you were with her...I don't blame you, I mean, she's been gone for a while and...she was one of the best in our class...and she's...mysterious and pretty and tough." Her shoulders sag further as her lack of self esteem dips even lower.

Armin kisses her nose. That cute button nose. "Mikasa is mysterious and pretty and tough."

_"Armiiiin!"_

_"Historiaaa!"_

"That's different!"

"How is that different?"

"Mikasa is...she's…" Historia can't come up with a good enough excuse, so she just blurts out, "I love her!"

"So do I."

Historia gives him a look, and he lowers his hands from her face, letting them cup around her hips instead; he pulls her close and bends down to lean his forehead against hers, and her doe-eyed gaze narrows slightly from the close proximity of their faces. "Listen," he continues in a soft tone, "I'm only doing this because she's my friend. Eren and I, we...she trusts us the most right now. Bertolt and Reiner are nowhere to be found, and I'm pretty sure they're looking for her. She's under our protection, so we have to take care of her. But," his lips curve upwards, "that doesn't change anything between us. _You're_ the one I love. Do you doubt that?"

Her gaze falters. "No…"

He coaxes her chin up. "Hm?"

"I guess not."

The smile widens.

And it's echoed on her end.

"Hello, Annie."

The titan shifter in question turns around to face the queen, her green cloak swishing around gracefully with her movements. She looks different now, Historia notes. Older. Her hair is no longer pulled back, light blonde tresses pooling down her shoulders in waves. No longer is she an MP, but a Scout, the wings of freedom patched on her cloak and uniform. They size each other up, it seems, starting from the ground up until - finally - the sea crashes against the ice. Historia remembers being intimidated by her former classmate, and for good reason.

But that fear no longer exists.

Christa Lenz no longer exists.

"That uniform suits you," she continues while Annie continues to study her. She takes two steps forward.

And then, Annie speaks.

"Nice crown."

"Thanks. You look well."

Annie may or may not have been aware of Historia's presence during her earlier visits. After her emergence from the crystal, Annie had been unconscious a lot. She was weak, needed assistance in daily routines until she could walk on her own, which took _months_. Because of her duties, Historia hadn't been around as much as she would have liked and only knew about what was going on through Armin, Eren, Mikasa, and Sasha (the latter two being responsible for Annie's personal hygiene, while the former two took care of everything else). She remembers the first time seeing Annie, in the courtroom. She remembers the MPs, Annie's _own team_ , wanting to dissect her alive, beat her, torture her, kill her for her crimes against humanity. However, under the persuasion of Erwin Smith, the (possible) death glare from Levi, and her own command, Annie's life was spared and she was taken under the custody of the Survey Corps instead. The agreement was, after she heals, she was to become a Scout and be under close surveillance. Historia is unsure about Annie's specific feelings on the matter, since she had no choice or say in it, but she's positive she didn't exactly like it.

"We're all having dinner tonight, in the grand dining room," Historia informs her. "You are welcome to join us."

"And by 'welcome', I'm assuming that means I have no choice?"

"Correct."

Annie's jaw went taut. "One condition."

 _You don't make decisions around here_ , the superior part of Historia's thoughts sneer, but all Annie receives is silence and an arch of the queen's perfect eyebrow, prompting her to go on.

"Don't sit me next to Mikasa."

 _I see. Things are still tense between the both of you_ , _she said, but it's nowhere near how it was in the beginning._ Historia nods curtly. "That can be arranged. I'll see you in two hours."

Annie seems to have pondered over something then, because after a beat of silence her posture straightens into a stiff salute and she bows her head, leaning her upper body forward.

Historia can't help herself, and she laughs. A quiet, airy sound.

"You don't have to do that." She gives Annie a once-over again. "I'll assign someone to help you get ready."

And that's when she takes her leave, feeling Annie's confused gaze dig into the back of her head.

* * *

Historia smiles as she sees her friends fill the room, Mikasa and Sasha looking absolutely beautiful in their evening gowns; Eren, Jean, and Connie clean up well (ah, they look so content! peaceful!), their suits crisp and sharp, ties bringing out the color of their eyes. And then, by the good grace of Maria, Armin walks in next with that breathtaking smile on his face, laughing at something Eren said; while she herself wore pink, he wears blue. It's a rich, royal blue, from his tie to his suit to his beautiful blue eyes. A perfect fit. She tries not to stare too openly, because she _can't help herself_ , but when their eyes meet his laughter quiets and he too is openly gazing at her in wonder. Time stands still, and in that moment it's just the two of them. Nothing can tear them apart, no one can get in the way of -

Historia is immediately ripped from her fantasy world as Annie makes her entrance (and she _does_ make an entrance). The dress that clings to her is silk, the lightest of blues. She walks with a slight sway in her hips, shoulders squared, chin held high, hair perfectly straight. She's a walking Cinderella. Historia envies her. (She envies all of her female companions, really. They're taller, more confident, more feared. More beautiful.)

Their eyes meet, and they nod at each other.

Eren steps back so Mikasa can sit down - Historia does not miss the way his hand brushes against the small of her back as she passes him, the lightest of blushes that stains Mikasa's ivory cheeks, the little curve of Eren's lips when he sees it too - before he sits down next to her, by Historia. Armin takes the seat across from Eren, and Annie sits next to Armin (Historia tries to ignore the twist of her heart). Jean sits next to Annie, and Connie across from him, leaving Sasha directly across from Historia, who is at the head of the table. Leave it to Connie and Sasha to save the night with lighthearted topics and jokes for starters so the atmosphere is nice and easy. Historia finds herself laughing and smiling so much that she's almost reminded of the way she used to be. The way she used to _pretend_ to be. So much has changed since the last time they've all been together. Eren does not tense up when Mikasa touches him, or says something that causes him to snap, but quite the opposite reaction happens. He's calm, there's a new warmth in his eyes, he's laughing along with Connie and Armin, and he has to be aware that his arm is touching Mikasa's, right?

Historia averts her attention to Mikasa, who is _very_ aware of Eren. In fact, there are moments (like these) where she's gazing at him while he speaks and it looks like she's about to start smiling, but she stops herself before she embarrasses herself. Goodness, her best friend is adorable!

Her attention curves around Connie and Sasha, whom are now doing impressions of Pixis and Shadis, and lands on - Jean and Annie?

Jean speaks of something that Historia quite can't catch because of Sasha and Connie, but whatever he said makes Annie snort in her glass of water and he looks at her in astonishment; eyes wide on both ends, his lips pulling up in an amused grin. Annie feebly knocks her shoulder into him and - he does it back?

_What is going on? What did I miss?_

She feels Armin watching her and meets his gaze. He laughs, but covers it with a cough, and she swallows her giggle before it can escape her throat. It hurts, but not for long. They can talk about it later.

 _I love you,_ he mouths.

 _I love you too,_ she mouths back with a tender smile, and his answering one makes her heart do the flutter thing.

Maybe she _does_ have nothing to worry about.


	6. Let's Share the Blanket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Historia shrinks away from the offer, leaning in the opposite direction. As kind as Armin is, she doesn't deserve it. But he's insisting, she sees it in his eyes and his posture and his smile.
> 
> ...She cannot resist him.

"Here, let's share the blanket."

Historia shrinks away from the offer, leaning in the opposite direction. As kind as Armin is, she doesn't deserve it. But he's insisting, she sees it in his eyes and his posture and his smile.

"It's okay. I don't mind." His arm is still outstretched for her, blanket and all. "I think its big enough for the both of us."

...She cannot resist him. Timidly, she moves closer with a swift slide of her butt until they were side by side, and the blanket is draped around her softly. She fights a shiver and pulls her side of the blanket closer to her body, ultimately bringing her and Armin even closer than where they already were in the process.

Armin has a comforting aura around him and it's contagious. The silence that follows is not tense but peaceful, and Historia stares absently into the flames before them. She remembers going to get that firewood. With Mikasa. The raven doesn't pry, which the blonde is grateful for, and working together with her brings Historia back to her days as a cadet. She lived a lie, yes, but the lie is better than the alternative. Well at least, that's what she thought. Do the others really accept her for who she is, despite pretending this whole time?

"Yes."

Historia blanches, whipping her head around to look at him. "What?"

Armin chuckles. "Thinking out loud?"

"Eh…?"

Okay yeah, so what?

"I know the feeling…" She doesn't doubt it. Armin, you know everything. "I, ah, I like your name, by the way. Your real name," he adds. "It's nice."

Her cheeks grow hot, and she's positive it's not from the fire. "Oh. Thanks."

Armin hums.

"Why are you all so...accepting about this?" she can't help but blurt out. "I've lied to all of you about who I was, my name, my personality, everything! How could you accept me so quickly?"

"At this point, we have to stick together as a team, now more than ever. We're not good people anymore, and from the looks of it lately we have more than one opposing enemy. Who else can we trust?"

"You seem so sure."

His smile this time is sad. "I'm not."

And it saddens her. To think that the smartest and sweetest person she knows is  _unsure_  actually _frightens_  her. When chaos erupts around them, Armin always keeps a level head. His mind is always racing, always one step ahead of everyone else. While he wants to fight with his intellect, she wishes to flight and run away from the problem. As much as she's not like her  _Christa_  persona, they both were very much cowards. Every time she sees a titan, her body trembles and her palms start to sweat and her stomach feels like it dropped to her feet. She's scared. She's only gotten this far by _luck._

There  _has_  to be some reason why she's still here.

"You're stronger than what you give yourself credit for, Armin," she says somberly, her blank gaze drifting back to the fire. "I've always admired that about you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I envy you."

"Why?"

"Because! You're so smart and your plans have always worked. If it wasn't for you, we probably wouldn't even be here right now. We would have been...titan shit."

Armin laughs. The sound is literally wind chimes. "Titans don't have genitalia, nor a digestive tract."

"Don't be a smartass."

He laughs again, and this time she can't help but to stare at his face in wonder. If angels were real, he would be the epitome of one. His hair is a much darker gold than hers and his eyes were such a rich enticing blue that she could stare into them for hours. His lips part, revealing a set of pearly white teeth, and the way the flames reflected off of his face made it look like they were dancing across his soft features.

"What are you smiling at?"

Crap. She was smiling?

"Yeah. You were."

Abort mission.

"And you still are."

Abort, abort, abort!

"What, so I can't smile now?" she counters with defensively, however maintaining a flat tone.

Her. cheeks. are. on. fire.

"No, no, no! I'm not saying that." And she could have _sworn_  he started blushing just now. "You wanna know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that...you have a really pretty smile," he confesses. "And you should do it more often."

She hides her face as the burning intensifies, and her stomach will not stop doing somersaults. "Why'd you say that?"

"Tomorrow's not guaranteed," he points out, his gaze returning to the fire. "We should enjoy the time we have together...while we still have it."

Historia tucks a free strand of hair behind her ear, wetting her lips with a swift swipe of the tongue. He's right. Armin is always right.

And his words will stick with her when she goes to sleep that night on his shoulder. About tomorrow not being promised, about how they accepted her, about how he likes her name. Her real name.

And how she had a pretty smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't know, I'm taking a break from Tumblr. The only reason why I haven't gotten any more hate (and thankfully, no death threats), is because I turned anon off days prior to the rude things being said about me because I don't ship Yumikuri. I won't get into it, because I want you guys to enjoy my writing and not be bored to death with my personal issues, hah. No matter what people say about me, I will still write for the ships I love! Arukuri is everything.
> 
> M'kay, so I really should refresh my memory and re-read Historia's arc, but I really just wanted an excuse to write Armin and Historia snuggling up by the fire at the house Squad Levi was staying at briefly. I have a post full of fluff starters saved and tagged that I like to look at for reference, and honestly all of them scream Arukuri. Since Christmas is right around the corner, I figured why not? Happy holidays, everyone!


End file.
